What Young Adults Want Out of Dating in 2024
Reading Time: 4 minutesWhat really matters in life? That’s a question that young adults often ask themselves as they build identities and lives separate from their family of origin. In today’s political, economically, and environmentally unstable world, it feels more important than ever to focus on the things that bring us joy. And for most people, making real connections with others is at the top of that list.
For Gen Z, this shift in priorities is already showing up in their dating behavior. Romantic relationships at this stage of life are often fleeting and casual—but that appears to be changing. Data from around the country shows that young people are reconsidering what they want from their relationships, and are seeking more genuine connection when dating online and in person.
Seeking Real Connections Outside the Traditional Box
Recent surveys of young people illuminate the new Gen Z dating trends. For example, the dating app Bumble reports that 78 percent of women say it’s important for their partner to understand both emotional and physical intimacy. Moreover, almost a third of US men on the app report they have actively changed their behavior in order to became more vulnerable with their partners.
Furthermore, young people are rejecting “traditional” monogamous relationships and expectations. About a third of women say that they’re no longer focused on reaching traditional milestones, like marrying and having children by a particular age. In fact, while three-quarters of women desire a long-term relationship, only about a quarter are specifically seeking a spouse. And as a result, they want to date only people who have a similar perspective.
Data from another dating app, Tinder, confirms this trend, which has been dubbed “timeline decline.” Tinder’s survey found that 69 percent out of 4,000 Gen Z surveyed agree that following a conventional relationship timeline is becoming less important to them as they get older.
Prioritizing Relationships That Support Mental Health
Young adults want to enjoy their dating experiences and nurture relationships that increase their well-being. Among 18 to 25-year-olds surveyed by Tinder, 80 percent say that their own self-care is a top priority when dating. Moreover, they want their partners to prioritize mental health as well.
In fact, three-quarters of single young adults say they find someone more attractive if they are willing to work on their mental well-being. In fact, one survey found that close to half of Americans rank mental health as more important than marriage.
Here’s a look at additional date from a survey of 5,000 single people across the United States, conducted by Singles in America.
- Half of Gen Z singles are having more meaningful conversations before meeting in person
- 61 percent of Gen Z are focusing less on physical attraction
- 69 percent are being more honest with potential partners
- 53 percent are changing the qualities they look for in someone
- 44 percent are having more meaningful conversations with dates
- 63 percent are spending more time getting to know potential partners
- 58 have shifted toward more intentional dating online
Questions?
All calls are always confidential.
Genuine Connection: The Antidote to Loneliness
While young adults typically have more connections than older adults, they also tend to find those connections less satisfying. In fact, loneliness is one of the top mental health issues for Gen Z. Close to two-thirds of young adults experience serious loneliness. Moreover, loneliness is a significant factor contributing to depression.
Social media and platforms for dating online can bring young people together—but they can also make them feel more alone than ever. The superficial nature of the apps tends to increase loneliness, creating a sense of virtual isolation. Trying to present themselves online in a totally positive light, rather than being authentic, can make young people feel as if they’re never seen for who they really are. And scrolling through posts of others engaged in what appear to be happy relationships often leaves them feeling lonely and left out. It can even trigger a quarter-life crisis—a sense that you’ve lost your way in your mid- to late 20s.
Hence, young adults are craving genuine connection. In the face of challenges like climate change, political strife, and the economic and public health repercussions of COVID-19, this generation is searching for meaning and hope. And the research is clear that supportive relationships can help provide that. Positive social connections are proven to be one of the most important ingredients for happiness.
5 Keys to Genuine Connection
The process of making real connections is one of the most important experiences for growth as well as happiness, because it requires looking honestly at yourself and shifting your patterns of behavior. For young adults wondering how to form a genuine connection with someone, it’s helpful to know the five essential elements of creating these authentic connections.
- Congruency—when what you feel inside is consistent with how you act and what you say to the other person
- Taking responsibility for our reactions—when you are triggered, noticing if it’s really about the way the other person is acting, or if it’s about your own fears and past experiences
- Transparency—being honest and direct about what you’re feeling, while remaining caring and respectful
- Active listening—listening in a way that demonstrates that you are truly hearing what the other person has to say
- Practicing compassion—recognizing that relationships can be difficult, and offering compassion and forgiveness to yourself and to the other person
Authentic, genuine connection involves revealing our true self to another person. That means being honest and vulnerable in our communication and interactions.
Barbara Nosal
PhD, LMFT, LADC, Newport’s Chief Clinical Officer
Healing Through Authentic Connection
Newport Institute’s approach recognizes that authentic connection—with self, others, and one’s larger community—is an essential aspect of healing. That includes repairing connections with family and learning to distinguish between healthy connection and codependency, while building greater self-understanding and self-compassion.
During their time with us, young adults form supportive peer and mentor relationships through individual and group therapy, experiential activities, and shared experiences during treatment. Ultimately, they address the loneliness, trauma, and lack of self-worth underlying anxiety and depression, and gain the tools they need to establish genuine connection and communication in their relationships.
Contact us today to find out more about our clinical model of care and our team of experts.
